THIS IS NOT ME, BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!

Frazzled

Well, my title speaks quite clearly about how I am feeling. There are only 2 &1/2 rooms I can live in right now. My whole house is a sheetrock, muddy mess. The living room, kitchen, dining room, and hallways are getting textured. I can hardly move in my house. Tiger is a prisoner in her room or the bathroom. My bedroom is storing everything out of the dinning room. All my plants are in dark rooms in the house where the mud won't get on them or on Tiger. Then, I decided that I would take two girls overnight because their mom had no one else.

Between the "why" questions all day, and Tiger and the youngest girl whining, I felt like I could blow. Then I had a 4 yr. old come for a FEW HOURS. I felt like I was going to have a melt down. I thought before the day started that we would play outside. It rained from 10am on. My bathroom and Tiger's bedroom wasn't enough. I can't cook in my house. I had to bring the kids to R-place, which they loved. Tiger out-ate them all on her chicken strip. Well, that's what we thought until we looked under the table.

When Gabe got home I decided that I needed a dark beer, and I knew I could get it at Pizza Hut--which made Gabe happy. He is an avid lover of pizza. I think he used to eat it every night before he married me. Well, last night it didn't settle well; he was up all night w/ heart burn and throwing up. He is all stressed about flying, and I am no support because I can't think in this house. Granted, it will look awesome when it's done. But, in Gabe's words, "I am a clean freak, and I am freaking out because I can't handle a sock on the ground, let alone mud pieces, sheet rock, tools, dirt, wood, etc." There is just no order. I am going insane. I can't even make coffee for myself.

So I went a little crazy last night. I screamed, "I feel like I am alone here. I have given Tiger and one of the other girls a bath twice now. I can't handle the whining and the needing." Right after that Tiger started crying and she need more of me--some boob.

I would love to say I feel lots better today, but no, I do not. Today we are moving the stove away from the wall so they can mud behind there. Gabe is flying out tomorrow for his best friend's funeral, so we have alot to get done. I know he would love for me to surprise him and have it all done by 12pm Sunday when he gets home, but that isn't realistic. I have a 1o month old, and there is no one I trust to take care of her for hours. On top of that, I promised Ty that I would help her clean her tiles she is laying Saturday. God, when is it going to end? Where I can sit and my mind won't be racing?

Naked butt 

Tiger and her Adventures

Well, Tiger loves to run around naked, pushing her walker everywhere. She is so cute. All her fat on her butt and back jiggles with every movement she makes.

Yesterday, she went outside (dressed) to help me work in my flower beds. She was elbows deep in the sod, loving it. She is going to be the best gardener. I hope to learn w/ her. She loves touching the flowers that are blooming. It's hard for her to be gentle though w/ the petals. I can't wait to show her what tigerlilies are.

Tiger gets so excited around other children. Yesterday, we had a few kids over, and the neighbor girl was giving the kids rides in her jeep. There is something about driving that fascinates us all. Well, Tiger was trying chase them down. I finally let her go for her ride, buckled her in, and ran next to it. Wow! They can actually go fast. Finally, her ride was over, and I took her out. Was she ever mad. She wants to be a BIG kid. I just love her--even if she is throwing fits on the ground at 10 months old. She is learning what no is, and she doesn't get her way.

I think the hardest was training her to soothe herself to sleep, while I was standing outside her door, hearing her heart so sad. But, now we put her in bed, and she rolls over, puts her face smooshed up to the bumper, and falls asleep. An Angel.

Tiger working out!! Isn't she getting BIG?!

Exercising - the two of us

Well, I got up and dressed myself in my workout clothes. I did my 30 minute massage yoga ball exercises, while Tiger sucked on the massage nipples. I also did the stomach exercises and the push-ups on the FIRM. When Gabe gets home, we will go for a two-hour walk. I gave Tiger a bath and dressed her in her warm up-gear for basketball. She is walking around our home in circles, trying to chase me with her walker. She's not a baby anymore. It makes Gabe and I want another. I was talking to Ty this morning, and it sounds like she will be pregnant by summer--that would make three of us, with Lydia. Wow! Too bad we don't live in the same town. We could be making pumpkin pies and no-bake cookies and getting fat together :) Actually, this time I am going to try not to gain 60 pounds of love. Now I have to sweat and watch what I eat, which I am not good at. Who enjoys discipling themselves? Gabe is lucky--all he has to do is cut back on soda and condiments and he's thin. Oh, to be a boy.

Lady Mermaid 

Tigerlily (girl mermaid) 

Mermaids

If anyone knows me, then they know I love reading about mermaids, as well as drawing, painting, soldering, and welding about them as well. . . any medium that I can include mermaids. Well, I decided to remodel our master bath. And I want, of course, to do a mermaid theme. Well, this is what I am thinking of. If anyone has any great ideas let me know. I am think of printing on parchment paper all the actual sighting of mermaids, the dates, and the short description that stated what had been seen--then burning the edge of the parchment paper to make it look more aged and gluing it to the wall, and maybe varnishing over it to add even more of an aged look to the paper. I also want to do a mosiac on the back wall next to the garden tub. I have decided on two, but I think one will be enough work.

The first mosaic I like, because the website where I found it was called Tigerlily, and it is of a girl mermaid with brown hair. The second mosaic is a picture of a full-size mermaid. You can see the fins and it is of a woman. The background of the room will be as if you are under water. I will use different colors and thin the paint to show depth. I am getting excited. I have my tile for the shower and the tile around the tub, but I need to see if I want to do the floor with a tile mermaid or what. Comments accepted with open arms.

I just finished a 10 ft. long by 8 ft. wide (fins) mermaid. I still have to JB weld the gills and fins but her main body is done. I will be building a 3 1/2 ft. raised rock pond for her this summer. I will be putting chinese gold fish and lily pads in the pool. Also, if you know of any organic substance you can put in the water to keep mosquitos away let me know. Thanks.

Tiger and Mazzy eating their cookie beaters

Isn't She Lovely?

Everywhere we go, everyone compliments Tiger and her BIG smile. They ask,"Is she always this happy?" That's when we proudly exclaim,"Oh yes! She is always laughing and giggling from the moment she wakes up." Tiger would make anyone want 20 kids. I finally feel complete being a mother. But watching Tiger interact with Gabe brings (happy) tears to my eyes. He is such an amazing dad. Before she was a month old he was teaching her "beef" (balance, elbow, eyes, focus). He is determined that his daughter is going to love the game of basketball. But what makes Gabe even sweeter is that he watches Dr.Phil and talks about what kind of a father he will be when Tiger is going through puberty, and how he will never stop giving her kisses and hugs, and how she will be his girl forever. He talks about how he will instill in her to want our respect. I love how he thinks about the future and doesn't just wing it.

I am determined that she isn't going to be a cheerleader:) What we want most of all is for Tiger to love the Lord, and that she has respect for herself, and that she has dreams that she conquers. Now I know what my mom really meant when she said,"I want the very best for you and for you to be happy."

The love I have for Tiger is beyond words. I can be completely tired from 3-4 hours sleep when she wakes up and smiles and starts the game every morning. I am ok with that. The game is this ~ I will get her out of her crib and bring her into our bed. She will want to eat--then she will try to eat from dad, and she knows she can't. She laughs, we laugh, and then she eats again--she laughs more, and milk comes gurgling out. Then she gets tickled and lifted in the air so she can touch the elk hide on the wall behind our bed. The game varies daily, but the day always consists of morning laughter.

WHO wouldn't want to be a parent?!

OOOPs! Too many maybe.

I guess I went a little crazy w/ photos, but, it is so hard to pick just one. :) Enjoy!

Nanna is alot of fun!! 

Tiger w/ her GREAT Grandma 

Tiger w/ Grandma before church 

My bestfriend for life!! 

Proud Grandpa 

She is modeling hats for me 

Her first time in a dress 

Girl photo 

Her first bath at home 

Cousins forever

I'm hoping to share this again w/ Lydia

She stole his heart 

I had to add this 

The Day of her Dedication 

Sharing photos

T-Tigger 

TIGER'S SUGAR CRAVINGS

WE GOT BACK LAST NIGHT FROM THE MEMORIAL, AND TIGER HAD OREO COOKIE DRIED IN HER HAIR. I FOUND OUT THAT SHE WAS PASSED TO EVERY HIGHSCHOOLER KID, AND THEY FELT THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE HER LIKE THEM WAS TO SWEETEN HER UP. SO SHE HAD BEEN GIVEN ANIMAL CRACKERS, LICORICE, OREOS, CHIPS, AND LOTS MORE. THE POOR BABY WAS SO WIRED. BY 9:00PM, HER BED TIME, SHE WAS STILL GOING STRONG, DIGGING THROUGH THE TUPPERWARE DRAWERS, PULLING POTS AND PANS OUT, {YOU GET THE PICTURE} BUT HER EYES WERE HARDLY OPEN. SHE WAS FALLING ASLEEP. WHEN I LAID HER DOWN, HER BODY WAS TRYING TO FIGHT IT, BUT THE EYES WERE SHUT FOR THE NIGHT. I GUESS NOW I WILL HAVE WATCH ALL HER NEW FRIENDS.

SHE IS WEARING HER SWEAT SET MOM GOT HER THAT SAYS "T IS FOR TIGGER." GABE LOVES HER IN THE SHIRT. THEY TOOK A SHOWER TOGETHER THIS MORNING. IT IS SO FUNNY TO WATCH THE 2 OF THEM DANCING TOGETHER ALL SOAPED UP. WE HAVE SURROUND SOUND IN THE BATHROOM, SO GABE BLARES THE MUSIC AND TIGER'S HEAD STARTS DANCING. I AM AFRAID SHE WILL SLIP RIGHT OUT OF GABE'S HANDS. THESE MOMENTS ARE WHAT WE TREASURE AND DESIRE MORE OF.

family 

Tiger 

Hello Family

Well, I decided to join the movement. Will be posting pictures soon.